I write a lot about motivation and productivity. I get a lot of questions about those subjects, so I keep thinking about them.

And I think there’s a hard realization some people need to face.

Maybe – deep down in your secret world – you just don’t want to do it.

Maybe you don’t want to spend more time with your family.

Maybe you don’t want to lose the weight or write the book or change the world.

Or change your world.

Oh, sure, maybe you like the idea of being it – whatever it is. It might be being happily married or being in shape or being a best-selling author.

But, dude, being and doing are two waaaaaaay different things.

Get out of denial. Admit it. Then work on that instead of pretending to go through the motions half-heartedly flailing at this other thing.

Maybe this other thing is too hard. Maybe this other thing is too much work or will take too much time. Maybe, today, you’re just not willing to really and truly make the effort.

And it’s not for me or anyone else to decide whether or not that’s okay.

But you need to admit it to yourself … so you can stop living the lie.

You’ll be happier, or you’ll know it’s time to make a change.

It’s kinda like the old saying:

When you’re torn between two things, flip a coin. You don’t flip it to see where it lands. You flip it because – while it’s still in the air – your heart will tell you which way you really want the coin to fall.

Got a quarter?

(If this totally doesn’t apply to you, awesome, but I bet – like me – somebody popped into your head. Should we do something about it? What do you think? I don’t know, either. I’m just asking.)

No related posts.

What’s your proudest individual achievement?

Four years ago today, I quit smoking. I started when I was 18 and quit when I was 37. (Last year, I wrote about how I did it.)

Everything in my life’s improved since I quit smoking, but I’m not sure if that’s the primary reason it’s my proudest individual achievement.

What do you think?

What’s your proudest individual achievement?

(Seriously … please stop reading and participate. Think about it for a moment …)

Now … why?

Did your achievement come with little effort?

Did someone hand it to you?

Did it happen instantaneously?

Did it happen while you were sitting on the couch?

Did it happen while you were watching television?

Did it happen on Facebook?

Did it happen on Pinterest?

Did it require no sacrifice?

Did it require no commitment?

Did it ever occur to you that the greatest epidemic plaguing us today might be the desire for instant gratification? Or maybe this notion that stuff should be easy?

I’m still a smoker. Today, though, I’m making the effort not to smoke. I’ve made that same commitment every day for the last 1461 days or so.

Is it fun? No.

Do I miss it? Yes.

If I could smoke just one – even two – a day, would I still be smoking? Absolutely.

But I can’t. So I don’t.

And that’s life. And that’s the choice I choose. And I accept the responsibility of my actions today.

What choice is it time for you to make?

No related posts.

Want a more stimulating, less anxious, more satisfying week?

Want to wake up Saturday morning feeling refreshed and content?

You remember contentment, don’t you?

We’ve gotten so busy we’ve managed to get our priorities out of whack again, but it didn’t happen overnight.

It crept up on us slowly and quietly.

The grind is a ninja, yo.

More and more, it seems we say ‘no’ by default to things in our family life.

“Sorry, I really don’t have time to take you to soccer practice. Mama can do it.”

“No, I really don’t have the energy to stay up and talk tonight. Can’t we just watch TV?”

“I wish I could, son, but daddy’s too busy right now.”

Stop me if you’ve heard those.

We find time for work, extra work, work-related community service, networking and busy work.

We say ‘yes’ by default to work stuff.

Switch the default boxes.

This week, try and find ways to say ‘yes’ to family stuff.

Family, extra family, family-related community service, netfamilying and busy family.

And turn on ‘no’ by default to work stuff.

Are you afraid they’ll fire you?

Do you really want to work for jerkfaces like that?

Just asking.

I’m going to go play with Will now.

If you can’t see the embedded video, please click here.

No related posts.

Click image to download hi-res version for desktop wallpaper.

Related posts:

1. Wise Weekly Wallpaper: February 5th, 2012
2. Wise Weekly Wallpaper: February 12th, 2012
3. Wise Weekly Wallpaper: January 8th, 2012

Urville: An Autistic Savant’s Remarkable Imaginary City, 20 Years in the Making – Words fail.

25 TEDTalk Quotes to Inspire You – Plus, links to all the talks. Great stuff, but watch you don’t dive deeper down the TED rabbit hole and wonder where the day went. Or better yet, do that. It’s the weekend!

Human Wormholes – Really cool article about human bridges through time. Read this.

True Fans Instead – Shawn Blanc nails it. There’s been a lot of sixth-grade-girl sniping in the tech world. Shawn says ‘piffle and pooh.’

Navigating the TSA Line – Good advice from Jeff at Restless Tech. Be sure to follow through the first link to the Practical Hacks story as well.

This Will Make You Smarter: 151 Big Thinkers Each Pick a Concept to Enhance Your Cognitive Toolkit – Almost too big an article for me. Boy, this is a big thought kinda weekend.

A Craft Of Consequences: Reader, Writer And Emotional Design – Thanks to Laura for sending this to me. You can’t judge a book by its …

The Plagiarist’s Tale – This would make a great movie. Oh, wait …

‘Insanely Simple’ – I never wanted to read Isaacson’s biography of Jobs. This is the book about Apple I want to read. You can preorder it now.

How about you? Any good ones I missed?

Have a great weekend!

Related posts:

1. The Back Nine: Weekend Reading for February 4th, 2012
2. What’s Your Better Business Reality?

“Control the music. Control the room.”

Music is a mood selection device – even if we don’t know the words to the songs.

I’m getting ready to get back on the road for a few speaking engagements. I insist on controlling the music as people enter and leave the venue. I do this for three reasons:

1. It focuses and fires me up.
2. The rhythms and tempos set the tone. They set a mood and energy in the room before I start speaking.
3. Awkward silences stink.

So, here’s mine. Here’s my pre show music for 2012.

It’s about 90 minutes long. I like being at the venue and set up early when possible.

However, I also know that if I start with Talking Heads (#11), I have forty minutes of music. If I start with Lyle’s “Church” (#13), I have thirty. Those are perfect, even times to countdown to showtime.

That’s where I learned all this – show business. I did theater for ten wonderful years – including sound design. I learned how to set the tone for both cast and audience.

So – this is my pre show soundtrack. Post show, I reverse the order – starting with a live version of John Prine’s “Picture Show.”

What’s your soundtrack?

What’s the music of your life today?

If you were speaking at an event today like I am, what would be the last song we hear before you come on stage?

Why that song?

I always like the ‘why.’

I think it’s part of the reason I get to speak to others so often.

Like John Prine says in “Picture Show” … A young man … from a small town … with a very large imagination …

Click here if you can’t see the embedded video.

No related posts.

This is not the kind of text you want to get from sister at 5:55 AM.

Yesterday morning, my website got hacked. I was suddenly doling out both supposed wisdom and links to stuff I don’t wish to print here.

I was momentarily and all-at-once overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, paranoid, devastated, offended, angry, sad, unsure and vengeful.

Momentarily.

Then I got this text:

“So sorry but thought you’d want to know. Praying for a quick solution!”

And then …

“Oh no. Don’t feel bad. Happened to the CIA too. Just means you’re important!”

Wow. A barrage of encouragement. It’s a nice to thing to get anytime, but especially after you’ve been overwhelmed before you finish your first coffee.

Big sisters rock.

You know what else rocks? Four things:

1) Complex passwords – Using an application like 1Password has brought a lot of security to my life over the last couple years. I never use the common passwords, nor do I include things like my children’s names. They are long strings of unpronounceable letter, symbol and number combinations. If you don’t do this. Start.

2) Rebooting sometimes – I had complex passwords on my website, database and server. Something went wrong. I had a choice – I could wail and rend my garments, or I could get to work. I got to work. I changed all the passwords and updated all the double-secret keys and even modified the parallax files. I can’t tell you about them. Sorry. I’ve already said too much … (looking over shoulder) … did you hear something?

3) Geeeeky friends. I believe I’ve mentioned I’m 3e geeky: Geeeky. However, in this instance, I needed a professional 4e fellow. He prefers to remain anonymous (4e fellows usually do for a mix of reasons). But, he was there for me and walked me through the problem.

4) A daughter’s love – “Ohhhhh, Daddy. I luhz you.” Baby Sarah makes everything better. She is the perfect blend of snuggles, energy, chocolate and pizza. She digs me. She digs her big brother pretty hard, too. Her big brother’s finally coming around to the fact that, well …

Little sisters rock.

Stuff happens. Get over it. Get back to work and learn the differences between a real problem and mere inconvenience.

Have a good day. Change your passwords. Backup your data. Hug your sister.

Which reminds me – this was the last text I got from her yesterday morning:

“Don’t be discouraged. Press on. This has been an incredible 6 weeks for your blog. You’ll get through this challenge! (shake cheerleader pompoms here)”

Thanks, Lynn. I luhz you.

Related posts:

1. How to Buy Great Gifts: Secrets of a Gift Artist, Part 1

45 Days. 45 Posts.

My friend Jake recently asked:

“Holy cow! How do you keep up with all that writing?”

I am always writing. I’m just not always typing.

I’m typing this before a client meeting – sitting in their parking lot – using my index finger on the WordPress app on my phone.

I wrote it – in my imagination – in the interstitial between dropping my son off at school and here. It’s two Thursdays before you’re reading this.

I had the idea for this post – and scheduled it for today – three weeks ago when Jake asked the question. I have a schedule for posts through the end of first quarter.

I am always writing. I’m just not always typing.

(At this point, I’m stopping and saving and going into my meeting … it’s now 26 hours later, and I’m in my office to finish typing.)

For me, ideas aren’t the problem. Coming to grips with the fact that anyone besides my mom would care about these ideas has been the problem.

Typing them out every day, finishing them and publishing them on my blog has been the remedy.

It’s changed the way I work and the way I feel.

It’s made me much more mindful of not only the blog, but my commitments to my work, my faith and family, and my place in the world.

For years, I did my typing in the early early morning. Now, instead, I use that most sacred of times for mental exercise, reflection, and mindfulness. So, yes, I still write in the wee small hours of the morning. I rarely type during this time anymore.

Anymore, I find it doesn’t matter when I type. Pros don’t need to wait for inspiration to finish the work.

It doesn’t mean my mornings aren’t sacred.

My Morning Routine

5:00 AM

I wake. It’s dark. It’s quiet.

I sit by the fireplace in an overstuffed big chair with my iPad.

I drink strong coffee. No TV. No music.

I read:

My own post that published at 0330 CT and was just emailed out at 0500 CT- I make any last second improvements that the benefits of stepping away from it have revealed.

I read a chapter of one of the six books I’m enjoying at the moment.

I read Michael.

I read Godin.

I read Jon Acuff.

If it’s Monday, I read Roy.

I read anything my partners have written.

Then I read anything whose headline looks interesting in my blogroll (using Reeder on my iPad), then check through Zite, then check through Twitter.

I do not read the news. I do not check email.

I’m going to be start reading The Bible again, but I’m debating between the KJV and the NIV. Do you have a preference?

I use Instapaper to save articles for later.

I use Evernote to save everything else for later.

I am writing. I’m just not typing.

My son comes upstairs and snuggles in next to me around 0600.

We play Battleship or NBA Jam (with the classic expansion pack so Daddy can be Larry Bird) or The Game of Life. Or he tells me about outer space or roller coasters or NASCAR. Or he asks about the feasibility of jetpacks and stuff.

I love my life. I love my ritual. I love my new habit. This has not always been so.

How about you? Do you have rituals? Are your wee small hours in the morning or evening?

What rituals do you hold sacred?

Why don’t you write them out? Later, when you type them, I’d love to have a look. In the meantime, have a great week!

No related posts.

Have you considered a massage as a gift for yourself of someone you love?

My life changed for the better several years ago when I started seeing Amanda and her Elbows of Justice regularly at Massage Envy – a growing chain that uses a brilliant membership approach: Pay a monthly recurring fee for one hour and get discounts for additional massages, lengths, or add-ons (like Hot Stone).

I try to do 90 minutes every other week, but it’s not always possible with travel. I also see a chiropractor monthly, but that’s not quite as romantic, is it?

I know massages freak some people out.

I know I’ve gotten gift massages for people who’ve never used them. It boggles my mind why you wouldn’t want to have a professional help you take care of your body.

So, on Valentine’s Day, I asked Amanda a couple questions I thought might be frequently asked.

So, I imagine a lot of people are going to give massage gift certificates for Valentine’s Day … if someone’s going in for their first massage, is their anything you recommend they do or don’t do? Anything they should tell their therapist to make it enjoyable?

They should know it’s okay to be nervous. Trusting someone with touch that you’ve never met is not easy for everyone. Licensed Massage Therapists are trained to ease the anxiety.

Arriving early is a must. You will have to fill-out your information, medical history, and consent paperwork. This will let the therapist know what areas you are comfortable having worked on, preferred pressure, and medical care that may need special treatment. We will review with you to make sure the experience is safe and effective.

We are body readers, not mind readers. Please be vocal if at anytime you are uncomfortable or need something different. If the pressure is too much or too light then tell us. Therapists usually ask, but again, speak-up if you need.

Don’t worry if you didn’t shave your legs! I actually think a little hair helps with the friction of massage.

Now, I also bet a lot of those people will love it … but won’t go back … why do you think that is?

Life. They work crazy hours. They are taking care of someone else. Funds are low. Some people know their bodies benefit from massage and for others it’s just another experience.

What are the benefits of regular massage?

Everyone knows about the relaxing and stress reducing effects, but regular massage therapy can have effects on all the systems of the body. There are over 80 different massage modalities in the U.S. that effect the body differently. It can help manage pain from headaches to arthritis, lower blood pressure and improve circulation.

If you’re searching for a regular therapist, what are some things you should ask or look for?

How long have they worked there? If you are committed to coming regularly so should the therapist. One of the most common complaints is a client finds the right therapist and then they leave.

What types of massage they are trained in?
Some therapists know only Swedish massage, trained in many, or have a specialty. If they continually seek out education then they can grow to better customize your treatment.

And then there are people like me, who do get massages regularly, but I had no idea – for example – this hot stone thing existed until recently? What are some of the additional benefits or add-ons people should consider and why?

Massage therapy should be customized to fit your needs. The heat from the hot stone massage helps you and your muscles relax on a deeper level. Aromatherapy blends like Aches & Pains and Anxiety Release help with, well exactly what they say. Massage Envy’s Deep Heat upgrade helps with a chronic area that could use some heat and cold therapy.

Umm … is it okay to talk to my therapist? Should I be quiet? Also, is it okay to tell my therapist to pipe down if I get a chatty one? : )

Usually the therapist doesn’t talk unless spoken to or they need feedback. Some clients talk because they are nervous, need to vent and relieve the stress, or are just talkers – and that’s all good. Plus it’s good idea to get to know a person you might see frequently.

Thanks, Amanda. See you and your Elbows of Justice (and the Thumbs of Fury) soon.

Related posts:

1. How to Buy Great Gifts: Secrets of a Gift Artist, Part 3
2. How to Buy Great Gifts: Secrets of a Gift Artist, Part 2
3. How to Buy Great Gifts: Secrets of a Gift Artist, Part 1

What is it? What’s the thing that moves you?

Think about it. We’ll get back to it in about 350 words.

So, here’s a thing that happened while I was out of town last week.

Do you know Ted?

According to the website:

TED is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader.

Along with two annual conferences — the TED Conference in Long Beach and Palm Springs each spring, and the TEDGlobal conference in Edinburgh UK each summer — TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Project and TED Conversations, the inspiring TED Fellows and TEDx programs, and the annual TED Prize.

The two annual TED conferences, in Long Beach/Palm Springs and Edinburgh, Scotland, bring together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less).

Our mission: Spreading ideas.

We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world. So we’re building here a clearinghouse that offers free knowledge and inspiration from the world’s most inspired thinkers, and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other.

I’ve been familiar with TED talks for several years. They have a killer iPad app that makes it very easy to watch talks.

Then, some fine folks got together with the Reynolds Journalism Institute at The University of Missouri and decided to put on a regional program here in Columbia. In case you don’t know, we’ve got quite a prestigious J School here.

So, umm, I applied to speak at their inaugural event on April 14.

And, umm, I was their first speaker selected.

With their blessing, I’m going to be blogging about my talk preparation occasionally over the next two months.

I’m going to speak about what my son – with the communication disorder – has taught me – a communications professional – about communication.

Yep. It’s exciting.

But let me ask you this:

If you had 18 minutes to talk about changing the world … about the idea that keeps you up nights … about the fire in your belly that water won’t quit …

What is it? What’s the thing that moves you?

Tell us.

We’ve never needed you more than we do today.

Related posts:

1. Your Gift To Us & Others
2. Who Do You Write Your Blog For?